What’s the best pick-up line in today’s dating world? “I’m fully vaccinated.” Yes, being vaccinated is the new sexy, and the pandemic has really changed everything – even finding romantic compatibility. Single people relied heavily on virtual opportunities for encounters at the start of the pandemic, and this continues to be a major trend. Today, there are 30.4 million online dating users in the US. Unfortunately, with such a virtual world also comes a lack of in-person connection. For many, this has put a damper on the idea of creating meaningful relationships.
Luckily, research also shows these changes have a bright spot, including people becoming more cautious, intentional, honest, and authentic. And it seems these personality traits are helping people navigate the online dating world with more positive outcomes. So, what does this mean for finding romantic compatibility in Covid times? Below, we reveal what experts and the latest research suggest in terms of how people can strengthen these positive traits and find meaningful connections – even during a pandemic.
How COVID Created “Intentional Dating”
“The influence of technology on our romantic and sexual lives has been so enormous,” states Justin Garcia, an evolutionary biologist and sex researcher at The Kinsey Institute, to PBS News Hour. “From online dating to texting, video chatting, and sexting, we have already been in the midst of a digital revolution for human courtship, it’s not a surprise that singles would continue dating this way during a pandemic.” Now that most American adults are fully vaxxed, in-person dating has come back. However, it may never go back to what it once was.
According to a New York Times article, single people report that periods of isolation have inspired personal awakenings and shifted priorities. According to Match’s 2021 Singles in America study, 58 percent of app daters have shifted toward “intentional dating,” and 69 percent of users are more honest with their potential partners. So why the pivot? One woman interviewed for a Vox article on dating during the pandemic admits, “This crisis has taught me that we need to be more honest with ourselves and have deeper, more meaningful conversations with the people we’re dating.” As a result, people are becoming more authentic and open about who they are and what they want (and do not want) in relationships.
“Know Thyself”
Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief science advisor at Match.com, tells Today, “This pandemic has led to more meaningful conversations on all of the dating sites, more self-disclosure, more intimacy (and) less stress about sex and money.” Fisher believes the pandemic may have actually improved the modern dating world for that reason. So how can people become more intentional and authentic and find meaningful connections – even in online dating? Below we list advice from experts in the field on how to develop these key personality traits:
Remain True to Yourself by Building Confidence
According to an article in Verywell Mind, “One way to feel more confident during dating is by taking time to check in with yourself. Using journal prompts such as these are very useful: ‘How do I remain true to myself on a first date’ or ‘What do I want from the first date with this person?’ Helping determine what you truly seek can also give you confidence and direction,” states Robin Hornstein, Ph.D., a psychologist and intersectional/inclusive therapist.
Discover More About Yourself
“When filling out a dating profile online, including what’s distinctive about you and what you’re looking for in a potential match. An ideal balance is 70 percent about you, and 30 percent about the person you’re looking for,” states Sameer Chaudhry, MD, an internist at the University of North Texas, to NBC News. Through this research, he developed a series of guidelines for setting up an online profile and approaching online interactions. Truly knowing yourself is also key in healthy dating. Relationship expert Dr. Venessa Marie Perry tells Bustle, “Knowing yourself will also keep you on track to getting exactly what you want and need from your partner, while also saving you from getting stuck in something toxic.”
So how can someone pinpoint what makes them unique? How can they discover their strengths? Or tell if they are good communicators? During this time of self-reflection, it may help to take a self-assessment. For example, Endominance has developed a unique diagnostic tool to help individuals discover parts of their authentic selves. Things like communication style or how they react in certain situations can help someone learn more about themselves – resulting in a more genuine online profile.
Be Honest
Lara Hallam, a researcher in the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Antwerp, tells NBC News, “Research shows that people tend to fall for people similar to themselves when it comes to things like relationship history, desire for children, pet preferences, and religion. Being honest and authentic about what you want (and don’t want) and who you make it more likely that the people you end up talking to and meeting are people things might work out with.” Being honest also creates healthy boundaries so that you and your potential partner can develop a meaningful bond.
Regardless of how people choose to date these days, we can take from new research that the noteworthy thing is to be honest, authentic, and set healthy boundaries. With these personality traits, who knows? Love could be right around the corner.
